As anyone who has not been on Planet Zog, under a rock, with their eyes shut and their fingers stuffed in their ears will know, the final instalment of the Harry Potter series went on sale last weekend. My NZPWI colleagues Dayna Wall and Simon Sweetman, booksellers both, survived the rampaging hordes of Muggles, young and old, desperate to find out how the young wizard’s odyssey concluded. (Simon’s comments on that crazy Saturday are unrepeatable.)

A wizard-loving Muggle myself, I was no less eager to obtain my copy and then hide from the world until it was done. And it wasn’t just that I wanted all the answers I’d been craving for ten years that kept me inside with the doors locked and the phone turned off; there was also the very real issue of spoilers threatening to ruin my enjoyment of the last leg of the Harry Potter journey. I had already accidentally been exposed to one; I was determined not to suffer any more.

It got me thinking about this whole issue of spoilage though. Specifically, the people who perpetrate them, who deliberately and knowingly set out to ruin the enjoyment of others. With New Zealand is approximately three days behind the States in terms of WWE viewing (pay-per-views notwithstanding), the internet means that staying spoiler-free is not always easy.

I used to spoil myself constantly. I would read RAW and SmackDown results before the shows aired here, and I would check 411mania’s live PPV reports during the day at work before going home to watch the show. And it didn’t stop at wrestling; if the script of a movie I wanted to see appeared online, I would read it before seeing the film. And if I were still that way inclined, I would have searched for and read every Harry Potter spoiler I could find before laying hands on the book itself.

Then – in October of 2005 – I saw the light. Actually, I read Editor-in-Chief Dion McCracken’s column: To be or not to be; spoiled, that is. And I thought: why not? I’ll give this spoiler-free thing a chance. And I’ve never looked back. Not only that, but I find myself now zealously defending the rights of the unspoiled. I heard tell of people walking up and down the queues waiting in line to purchase Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince, spouting that something really important happens on page blah. Children were crying, parents were yelling… and I thought to myself: that should be punishable by law. I’m talking at least ten years breaking rocks in a chain gang. That’s simply unforgivable.

As many New Zealand readers will know, it is difficult to remain unspoiled when you have friends overseas who you chat with online, and who have seen the show already. For some of these people, they claim they’re not spoiling you but have to tell you “just one little thing.” I have such a friend. And if he appears on MSN during the day when a pay-per-view is airing and I’m at work, I refuse to talk to him because he just can’t help himself. A typical conversation would go something like this:

ME: I know you’re watching SummerSlam; please don’t say a word about it.

HIM: But -

ME: NOT ONE WORD.

HIM: Can I say if a match is good or not?

ME: NO! Nothing about SummerSlam, not even what colour shirt Jerry’s wearing. NOTHING.

Resentful silence…

HIM: Look, this isn’t a spoiler, OK?

ME: Is it about SummerSlam?

HIM: Yes, but it’s not –

ME: NO! Just no!

HIM: But it’s not a spoiler!

ME: If it’s about SummerSlam, it’s a spoiler, OK! Even if it’s just that the ring ropes are now shocking pink, or that there’s a topless chick in the audience, or that Triple H had a nose-job and now looks like Nicole Kidman, I don’t want to hear it! NO SUMMERSLAM TALK.

HIM: Fine.

More resentful silence…

HIM: All I was going to say was you’ll be surprised at the outcome of the tag team match. That’s all.

ME: THAT’S A SPOILER!!!

*click* Storms offline

This is, at least, not deliberately malicious. Likewise, neither are those who let the odd detail genuinely slip, followed by remorseful apologies. What really bakes my noodle are those who will spoil as many people as possible, just because they can. “I have the power to ruin your day, so I’m gonna.”  The lengths that some people went to, to gain access to the final Potter book before it went on sale and then make the contents within as widely known as possible, just blows my mind. And I can imagine JK herself throwing very expensive things at walls.

In terms of WWE viewing especially, New Zealanders are particularly susceptible for the reasons stated above. As the person who compiles the NZPWI Roundtable, I sometimes have no choice but to subject myself to spoilers in order to get an accurate event card, but for the most part I’ll avoid spoilers like decaying carp. And I know that I’m not alone.

I don’t understand it, I really don’t. If you have some insight into it, please let me know. I’d love to publish your thoughts in the next Editorial, so if you have any spoiler-tales or clues as to why there are those who just can’t keep their trap shut, I’d love to hear it; email .

But enough griping. Onwards!

Speaking of Letters to the Editor, Scott from Napier provided me with some food for thought, and in doing so is the inaugural letter to be published:

Dear Editor,

Interesting situation you found yourself in when you heard about Chris Benoit. The Nevis is a leap I’ve made myself, and found myself reliving the instability of that pod swaying in the breeze while waiting to throw myself into the canyon. It must have been an odd perspective for you.

You said that you thought this tragedy would define how professional wrestling will move forward in the future, and I have to wonder; why is that? What defining changes do you see being made? Is it that Vince will do what he did in the 90’s and push the smaller guys? Or do you see it as an internal thing; that a closer look will be taken at scheduling and drug abuse and that we, as fans, will see the results of those changes in booking and storylines?

I personally don’t think that much will change in the years to come, although WWE will of course be seen to be making changes for the immediate future. But when it comes to steroid use and abuse, I reckon you only have to take a glance at the recent Snitsky vignettes to see that roided-up rebels are perceived to be the be-all and end-all of the upper card. I sure as hell don’t think that Vince will suddenly start pushing the cruiserweights, to reference an all-too-often heard catchcry.

No, in the end I think things will carry on as before. What makes you see it differently?

That’s a good point about Snitsky Scott – and personally I find his juiced-up physique, combined with his character’s uncontrollable rage offensive given the furore surrounding the possible effects of steroids on mental stability.

I confess to a certain amount of wishful thinking; I believe it’s been proven that one doesn’t need to be Mr Universe to entertain and be successful in the top echelons of WWE. And perhaps I’m hoping that, as you pointed out about the shift in the 90’s, wrestling ability and charisma will be venerated above a ripped physique and a tendency to turn foreheads into road maps as a result of over-zealous blading.

I do believe that WWE, and wrestling as an industry, will come under closer scrutiny in terms of drug and steroid abuse as a result of the Benoit tragedy and this can’t BUT have an effect on the way things move forward from now on. How long it will last is another question; perhaps you’re a tad too cynical and maybe I’m an idealistic dreamer, but I would like to think that something good will come out of a shocking tragedy. And my hope is that something will be a closer focus on the health of the industry’s athlete and entertainers, and if that happens, there is no way it’s effect won’t be noticed in terms of the overall product.

If anyone has any thoughts on Scott’s comments or on my response, then please send them to me; I would love to respond publicly and publish your comments for others.

Things are heating up in the New Zealand scene; NZPWI Editor-in-Chief Dion McCracken announced that this year’s NZPWI Invitational will be held on November 10 in Whangarei. Already lined up are last year’s champion, Alfred Valentine, and the winner of the First Invite Eliminator, NZWPW’s “Silencer” Jean Miracle. And in fact – if you’ve caught this early enough – you can listen to Valentine on Fleet FM’s The Bored Housewife Show, airing today at 1:00pm, hosted by none other than our own Benjii Jackson and Troy Rawhiti-Forbes.

Before that, however, IPW’s Redemption takes place on August 4, and the card is, to put it mildly, stacked. Taking on “The Deal” Dal Knox and Roger Ventura, IPW Champion Jon E. King will put his title on the line. Not only that, but with IPW and Australia’s MIW merging, Redemption kicks off the IPW South Pacific Championship Challenger tournament. This is NOT to be missed.

It’s not as if Wellingtonians have anything to complain about in terms of top local wrestling either; NZWPW’s Friday Night Out takes place on August 3 at the He Toa Gym in Petone, Not only can you see great wrestling, but you can do so in a class atmosphere, in which drinks and nibbly bits will be on tap.

The Great American Bash has been and gone, Edge is out with injury and Triple H is teasing his return from injury. All this and more is discussed in our weekly edition of Gimme Five, so if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for? Click through and check out one of NZPWI’s most popular columns.

With that, grasshoppers, I bid you adieu. If you, like I once was, are addicted to spoilers, then I have a challenge for you; try staying spoiler-free for ONE RAW, ECW or SmackDown or PPV. Then send me an email and tell me how you found it. I promise you; it’s well worth it.